Ok, mid-week blog, we all know what that means right?
So, today I had to comfort a friend who has been going through a few relationship problems at the moment. They’re extremely down, hurt and lost and I wanted to be there for them. I hate seeing people down and I always feel the need to fix those that are….
My year 7 teacher described me once, in a school report, as a ‘mother hen’ and I suppose I haven’t really grown out of it. It’s the reason I ask if my colleague’s ok if she comes into work with red eyes, it’s the reason I offer a trip to MacDonalds if I sense someone needs to talk, heck, it’s the reason I took a counselling qualification! To see someone down and, even worse, lost is unbearable for me. It reminds me so much of when things hit rock bottom and I felt so alone…
So, when someone challenges what you are, the way you act, the way you have always been, it’s going to hurt. It’s like they are challenging and nitpicking at every fibre of your being.
There is a difference between interfering and caring, believe me – I’ve learnt that! Ultimately, you can’t stop or control somebody else’s action and in the long run it’s healthier to make your own mistakes. There is nothing to gain from telling a friend she’s a fool and shouldn’t take him back, it only drives a wedge between yourself and them. By being there for somebody, letting them know they are fool but not judging them for it, that is the true friendship.
A lot of people find it hard to see the difference between interference and being a friend, and in extreme circumstances have distanced themselves from any situation that involves going beyond the call of emotional duty for a friend because of not being able to define that difference and having it backfire on them.
I can’t stop who I am, and I’m not going to change to suit anybody else’s comfort. I will always be that friend who answers the phone at 3am because a friend can’t sleep, or let my little brother stay over at my house because he’s had a fight with our mom or take a colleague home from work because it’s raining and the bus stop is a 10 minute walk away… That is just who I am. And, quite frankly, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.
I am mother hen, and long may my clucking reign.
x
